my world is slowly falling apart...

to a friend i have never truly known.

perhaps it was all superficial.
perhaps you've never treated me as your friend.
so many insecurities of your own,
will never be known.
for you keep them in the deep dark abyss
of your heart.

why do you cast your friends away?

Chunky Monkey

I feel a great temptation to name all my blog posts after Ben & Jerry's ice creams.

Everything's going pretty well. My mum, dad and grandma are on talking terms again, so really, that just means that I get more ang pows. It also means that I get to go to a lot more places than I initially expected too. Which leads me back to the point about having more ang pows.

Ang pows are good, money is good. But being able to see my grandma again without having to lie to my parents is kinda morally uplifting. I think everyone's mood has generally been lifted because of this.

Why am I at home on this fine day when everyone is supposed to be out visiting other people for more ang pows? Because my mum is lazy to go visiting, and tells other people that we're visiting other people to so that she doesn't have to go visiting. All in all, it's working out pretty fine because we got compensated with a bigger ang pow from my parents, so yay.

I've got loads of plans on what to do with the ang pow money I've collected so far. i think it's wierd that people spend money on clothes before CNY because you only get the money after it. Of course, most people actually bother to save their cash so they can actually buy stuff, and so the ang pow money more than makes up for what they spend beforehand.

Oh well.

I want to buy new shoes. Because I signed up for the 100m sprint. I know I'm going to do pretty horribly, but hey, I'll cartwheel when I get to the end just for the fun of it. It's all in the name of fun isn't it? I'm in shot put too. Haha. I hope I do well in that. I think it's about time I started going to the gym again.

And I want to take up squash. So I'll need to get all the appropriate stuff as well. I just hope I'll have enough cash to left to buy whatever else I need. Maybe like new stationary or something. Haha.

Right, I want to get back to watching Nightwatch. It's really bloody. Happy Chinese New Year people.

Eat your face.

Couldn't think of any better title.

StAJe is taking up a lot of time, great deal of conflict here. Yes, I want the IHDC to turn out well, to be the biggest, grandest and most memorable event AJ will ever have, that's why I step in to help the houses with lighting cues, directorial advice, try to establish proper rapport between director and cast, be nice to the people and ask them if they need help. But YES, I want to have some time alone with Zoe.

Oh well, guess life's like that most of the time.

I spend a great deal of time thinking about the world that Zoe and I will eventually have to live in. And my imagination tells me that it's going to suck so bad you won't want to have any children because you want to spare them the agonizing pain of having to live in a world where everyone wants to be beautiful but fail to be, and sink into condescending abyssmal pits of depression. So bad it makes you want to cut your genitals off.

Sometimes I wonder if a society like the one in Brave New World is better then what we go through. Here you have a world where everyone exploits everyone for something and feel good about it. You have an ever-increasing income gap, a global divide between the non-existant classes that we didn't get segregated into because we're civilised, and lots and lots of justified violence. It's different for the folks in BNW. Yes, you're "exploited" but the great thing is that you don't have a clue that you are. Even the people "exploiting" you don't know what they're doing.

Ignorance is bliss eh?

Anywhos, Valentine's Day is coming and I haven't bought anything for anyone yet. I'm going to have to do like last minute shopping real soon. I think it's sad that I know so many people, but I don't have things to give them. It's a lot easier for me not to give the guys anything, because, well, it's awkward and they'll understand anyway. Thinking of something special to do for Zoe is the real braincell killer.

How do you even begin to express undying affection and everlasting love in the span of one day? Do we really need a stupid day that got relabelled as "Friendship Day" to tell someone that we love them? Crockpots. The whole thing is just a bloody show about who's the better boyfriend. Bloody because you're going to get butchered if you don't perform on that day. Who says men are in charge?

Oh well. We have StAJe on that day. Talk about bummer. Let's see who skips that day alright?

P. S. I booked the BBQ pit at my house for the 10th of March for a StAJe thing. Whoever reads this, please pass the message.

rawr. i feel like rawring.

i guess nobody's been reading our blog since we didn't really update that often. well, it's not that we don't have anything to say, it's just no time. stAJe's taking up pretty much time, with us staying back after school like everyday. IHDC: monday, tuesday, thursday. stAJe: wednesday and friday. i'm pretty glad that we had a break, no stAJe for today:) not that i don't like going for cca, i love it. i love just being with the stAJers and just be crazy. it's a time when i can really be crazy and nobody would judge me for it. i can hop around and sing at the top of my lungs and nobody would mind. and then there's ding feng who goes around taking offensive photos of raktim. haha. i shan't elaborate.

school's been very busy, on top of that, i still have to work on weekends. i enjoy going to work. it takes me away from the everyday school life. it's when i can relax and face the world and the people it brings to me. i see many people at the place i work at, albeit rich and very rich ones. they often come into the shop with Gucci, Prada or Louis Vuitton paper bags hanging on their arms. most of them are foreigners, and they're a friendly bunch of people. singaporeans really can't be compared to them, being more reserved and they probably feel weird when greeted by someone they don't know. but yea, i really enjoy going to work, and being in a nice environment with nice people helps. my colleaques are fabulous people, they are simply so endearing. and i can tell it's genuine because they go all out to help someone. haha, going to work this weekend and i'm looking forward to it. take me away from all the studying...

tata everyone, i've blabbed enough to last for a while. momo and i are doing great!:) it's valentine's next wednesday!! i love you lots momo.
ＨＡＰＰＹ　ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥ＇Ｓ　ＴＯ ＡＬＬ　ＣＯＵＰＬＥＳ :)

Yup.

It's been a really long time since my last post.

Really really really long time.

Can't say I've been busy, "lazy" would be a better word. I was busy with preparing the IHDC scripts, was anyway, but that was a pretty long time ago. Then again, I never really was busy with the scripts up till the last few days before I had to submit them. Other than that, I don't think I've been plagued by any major deterrent from blogging.

School's been pretty fine, I guess. I won't go into details about everything that's happened and all that. Too many things I suppose. A lot of friction and stuff like that, normally everything turns out fine on the surface. But sometimes Life can be like a condom that you didn't put on properly. Looks fine on the outside, but there's an air bubble waiting to make you a daddy. I'm getting tired of a lot of things (excluding Zoe), it's one of those times when you feel like everything that you do just ain't worth it, like when all your intentions mean well but you screw up somewhere along the way and screw everything up.

My life is full of those times. Miraculously, these things sort themselves out a lot for some inexplicable reason. I can't run with this mentality for much longer I suppose, I keep wondering when this lucky wave of everyone-else-except-me-seems-to-forget-itis.

I wish I could just say that I don't want to here your sad, soppy stories about this and that and everything in between, I can't be bothered to help you make a decision on whether or not your head should be fried in chip batter, or I'm just too tired to have to entertain all your mood swings. But I can't. Why do I bother to step into everything, when everything is, more often than not, a big pile of prehistoric dinosaur shit?

Oh well.

I guess that's just the way life is. Way to go with lame excuses for all the misfortunes in my life eh? Happy welcome back post to me.

BBQ Business.

Alright, here's everything you need to know about the BBQ.

This is what I'm getting from www.bbqwholesale.com:

100 sticks of chicken satay
20 chicken chops
20 stingrays

And this is what my mum has got already:

2 bottles of Sprite Ice (someone get vodka)
30 cans of Coke
4 6-packs of packet drinks
2 bottles of syrup (one's grape and the other's lemon tea)
Sausages
Chipolatas
Chicken Curry
1 Pork Rib
2 packs of chicken wings
All the paper plates and other rubbish
Charcoal

Just bring 5 bucks alright guys? If you don't, I'll have to tear your underwear and then smear butter along your asscrack.

Someone has to get the alcohol, just let me know who's interested. And the ice as well. Petrol kiosks are outside, can get them on the way in.

Please confirm with me ASAP if you can make it on friday so I can order less or something. And bring extra clothing okay? Swimming or not, you're probably going to get wet. I'll leave the option to stayover at my place open to those who don't mind having to sleep on the floor.

Okay, my parents won't be home till LATE, dad's got some ranger course on, mum's got a dinner to attend. We'll have to lower the volume on our thing after 10 so that no one can complain. Pool's lights and pump get turned off after 10, but the security guard told me that it's fine to go swimming at that time, he'll close an eye for me as long as we don't make too much noise.

Here's the address to my place:

SOMEONE REALLY SMART SAID NOT TO PUT IT ONLINE SO I WON'T.

As for how to get there, well, this is going to hard on you guys.

Okay, take the train down to Tanah Merah and then alight and cross the road via the underpass to take bus no. 2. You'll know when you're reaching when you see the Japanese school, you can't miss it. It says "The Japanese School" on the gate. One stop after you should see the condo, and another stop later you'll see a Esso kiosk.

From there turn into Mariam Walk/Drive/Lane, and walk all the way down till you see the main gate to Edelweiss Park. You can't miss that either, it says "Edelweiss Park Condominium" on this wall thing. There's a temple opposite and a playground before that. If you can't seem to find those, just take a cab.

You guys can come real early if you want to, and bring 50 cent coins if you want to play Pool, cos that's how much one game costs.

Bring 5 bucks and extra clothing too.

Give me SMS confirmations on your attendance yeah?

Soon.

Thanks people, I really hope to see all of you there.